The Advice

Question:  Got married today: "Can you give me some advice ?"
This is Armenian Radio: "Too late."

Freedom after Speech

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is the difference between the Constitutions of the USA and USSR?” Both guarantee freedom of speech.” We’re answering: “Yes, but the Constitution of the USA also guarantees freedom after the speech.”

Izvestiya

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Why do we need two central newspapers, Pravda (Truth) and Izvestiya (News) if both are organs of the same Party?” We’re answering: “Because in Pravda there is no news, and in Izvestiya there is no truth.”

Reorganization

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: "What is it that starts with an R and never ends?" We’re answering: "Reorganization."

Solving a Problem

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Is it possible to solve a problem which has no solution?” We’re answering: “We don't answer questions related to agriculture.”

Longest Joke

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is the longest joke?” We’re answering: “The speech made by Khrushchev at the Party congress.”

Enemies

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What methods do our enemies use in their subversive work against the socialist state?” We’re answering: “Such questions we discuss in our program ‘Useful Advice.’”